Selena Gomez left in tears after realising she may be unable to carry her own children
The singer, 30, has been on medication since experiencing psychosis in 2018 and revealed she cries when thinking about the fact it may stop her from carrying a baby.
Speaking in a new interview with Rolling Stone, Selena admitted she sat in a car and cried after visiting a friend who was trying to get pregnant.
Due to the fact she needs to stay on two types of medication to manage her bipolar, Selena revealed: ‘That’s a very big, big, present thing in my life,’ but vowed to become a mother one way or another, adding: ‘However I’m meant to have them, I will.’
Selena revealed that she had experienced suicidal thoughts from her mid-twenties, after finding her life didn’t pan out the way she had envisioned it as a child.
She explained: ‘I’m going to be very open with everybody about this: I’ve been to four treatment centres.‘I think when I started hitting my early twenties is when it started to get really dark, when I started to feel like I was not in control of what I was feeling, whether that was really great or really bad.’
The highs and lows she experienced could last for weeks or months without a specific trigger, sometimes manifesting as insomnia lasting for several days, or manic episodes in which she was convinced she needed to buy everyone she knew a car.
‘I never fit in with a cool group of girls that were celebrities. My only friend in the industry really is Taylor [Swift], so I remember feeling like I didn’t belong.’
She admitted she never felt completely happy and was not fulfilled by material things because ‘I just didn’t like who I was, because I didn’t know who I was.’
She admitted she wasn’t sure whether to release such an intimate look at her journey until she saw the reaction to a test screening, adding: ‘I was like, “OK, if I can just do that for one person, imagine what it could do.” Eventually I just kind of went for it. I just said, “Yes.”‘